Week 7 Assignment 4: Email Revisions

Revise the two (2) emails below to remove problematic content and help these students construct polite, effective email messages instead.

Question 1

Scenario 1:

Susan is unhappy with her grade in her college class. She wants to clarify what she can do to improve in the course. She also feels like venting her frustrations to her professor due to the many hours she is spending studying and writing papers (which may or may not be a good idea). She decides to email her professor; however, before she hits SEND, she asks you, her friend, to take a look at the email.

Reading the email, you note a lack of civility, polarizing language, and other unethical language (given the context). Help Susan rewrite her email, so she can express her concerns over her poor grade politely and ask for help from the professor.

Susan’s Email:

(No greeting) I want to know why my grade was so bad. I spent hours finding sources and writing that paper and it was graded unfair. My friend wrote her paper the night before it was due and got a better grade. I know most professors grade hard but this is ridiculous. I felt good when I submitted the paper but now I feel like crap. I guess I am going to fail. (No closing

Selected Answer:

TO: Professor Johnson


DATE: August 19, 2018

RE: What can I do to improve my grades in this class

Hi Professor Johnson:

I was wondering what I could do to get my grade improved in this class and some help with the last paper that I handed into you on the due date.

I spent hours looking for sources and writing the paper. I feel that I put my best into this paper and do not understand how it was graded or what I did wrong.

I would really appreciate it if we could get together to go over my paper and may be, if you are willing, let me possibly redo my paper with the corrections and advise that you give me. 

I feel that I am struggling a little in this class and hopefully with a some additional guidance from you I will be able to finish and a high note.

Thank you for all your help and I do hope that we can connect so that I can better understand this class.

Kind regards,

Question 2

Scenario 2:

Don is worried about passing his college class due to some low grades. He wants to ask his professor for help to pass the class. He decides to email his professor; however, before he hits SEND, he decides to ask you, his friend, to take a look at the email.

Reading the email, you note a lack of civility, poor manners, and poor grammar in Don’s email. Help Don rewrite the email, so he can express his concerns and appropriately seek help from the professor.

Don’s Email:

(No greeting) Yo teach. I dunno no way to pass this class. What I gotta do to pass? (No closing)

Selected Answer:

TO: Professor Johnson


DATE: August 19, 2018

RE: What is required of me in order to pass this class

Hello Professor Johnson:

As you may already know, I am not doing very well in your class and I am reaching out to you today in hopes of possibly getting some help.

I would like to set up a time that is convenient for you to sit with me and go over what is required of me in order to get a passing grade.

I believe with the two of us sitting down together and you helping me get a better understanding of this class along with your expectations that I could pass this class with confidence.

Please let me know what a good time is for your.

Thank you again for your time and I look forward to hearing from you.

Kind regards,

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